Second Date Tips
Let’s assume you’ve met a woman, developed enough of a connection that you two went out on a date. You had a good time and found her interesting enough to want to see her again and you’ve set up a second date. This second date can be important in setting the tone of you relationship down the road, or even if there is going to be one. Here are some second date tips to help make it successful and get you where you want to go.
Keep in mind the purpose of this date. You want to keep her interested in you while you get to know here better. You’re deciding about her and at the same time you want her to desire you.
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You need to find a balance between being interested and being overbearing or coming on too strong. You want her to perceive you as fun, interesting and independent, not as someone desperate for female companionship. There are a few points you should pay attention to make this date successful
One good tip is to do something different than you did on the first date. Doing the same thing twice doesn’t deliver the message that you are creative, interested in a lot of different things and likely to be fun to be with on an ongoing basis.
Although not the only option, consider an afternoon date for a second date. You could go to a park, visit a museum, fly kites, go on a picnic, go for a ride in the country and stop at antique stores or any number of other low key activities that are fun and will give you a chance to interact while having a good time. Obviously, what you do depends on where you live and your interests.
Keep it low key. A second date is usually not the time for a show of extravagance.
Avoid things like going to the movies or a play or a concert on this date. You want to be able to talk and get to know each other better. Plus, going to a movie isn’t especially imaginative. You want to create the impression that you are a fun, innovative guy who’s great to be with and into a lot of different things (you are, aren’t you?)
Going to a sports event is probably OK if you both like it because you can talk at a game.
Here’s another thing to avoid: don’t go out with another couple or a group of your friends (or hers). This date is about you two. Also, you don’t want to seem like you’re dragging her into your life and social circle too quickly. That can be a little off-putting and may make you seem desperate.
Definitely don’t take her to any family functions at this point, even if it’s a holiday and your family is great. That would definitely seem too pushy. Instead, you could tell her you have family obligations and do something with her before or after. This communicates that you have family values and also are interested in her but aren’t pushing it.
I recommend keeping the second date relatively short, but another advantage of an afternoon date is that you can spontaneously extend it into the evening if you sense it is right. Be careful doing this though. It’s better to leave her still wanting to be with you than having the date go on longer than is fun.
Whatever you decide, be decisive. The second date is definitely not the time to ask “what do you want to do.” Women, even decisive women, generally prefer a man who makes decisions and takes charge.
An excellent way to make a very positive impression on the second date is to remember some details you learned about her on your first date. You most likely talked about preferences or places you’ve been or family or other such topics. If you casually allude to something she told you on the first date (“Have you heard anything from your brother in LA? He sounds like quite the guy.”) she’ll be flattered and impressed.
I have to admit that my memory isn’t always great for this type of thing. I’ve found it helpful to dictate little notes on my smart phone after a date to keep my memory fresh. I know that can seem a little stiff, but I think of it more as evidence of interest because I really want to be able to recall the details but can’t always without the notes.
On any date communication is crucial. To be certain conversation flows smoothly without any of those awkward pauses everybody finds uncomfortable I suggest you work on your skills a little. An excellent program to look at is Conversation Chemistry. Believe me, it’s worth working on some skills to avoid a faltering conversation with someone you’re interested in.
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